The Grateful Rabbi

GRATEFUL FOR "WORDS"

2010-07-12T07:27:00.000-07:00

I had a hard time praying this morning.After a sleepless night, I was tired and found it near impossible to enter into the realm of understanding and experiencing the morning service.Usually I make great efforts to transcend the words of prayer and touch on their inner meaning. This morning I felt a different impulse. This time I recited the words slowly and carefully, as if they were components of a sacred poem.This time I let the words themselves do the spiritual driving to a destination of holiness. I listened carefully to the sounds of syllables, to the words' cadences, to the rhyming, rhythm and meter arrangement of the words; I leisurely lounged in the language, immersed in flowing words of the Holy Tongue.
For some mysterious reason, the words were lovely, a form of music rushing through my mind.The words were more than mechanical intonations, magical in their intention. I had no illusion that mere recitation would somehow alter reality , vehicles of incantation that carry magical powers. Rather it was the melody of words, their inherent music and poetry, that captured my attentiveness on this morning of fatigue and restlessness.
I whispered: "Here are the words, God, do with them as You wish. I hope they please You.!"

GRATEFUL FOR SIMPLE FAITH

2010-06-22T16:21:00.000-07:00

I saw her at the morning minyan ,dressed in black, almost invisible. Her morning greeting was close to inaudible. It was the week of mourning, the shiva period, and she attended services to recite kaddish, the mourner's special expression of praise amidst sorrow.
I noticed how her lips moved carefully but quietly, like Hannah of the Bible, immersed in her devotion to the careful recitation of each word, without the latitude taken by others of slurring over or omitting words in their haste to complete their prayers quickly.
She lagged behind the others whose timetables trounced the poetry of prayer, changing the prayer from words of elevation to wheels of acceleration.
I had the distinct impression that would God reveal Herself at that moment declaring -" I do not exist!"-she would pay Him no heed but continue uttering the holy words as if each one contained the entire universe within its tiny scope.
I stopped my prayer for a moment, and as I gazed upon this image of simple devotion I was overcome by a subtle yet forceful feeling of envy-such faith, such simplicity, such devotion.
There was no trace of cynicism, doubt, anger, or philosophical misgivings. She prayed with utter conviction,each word a magnet that drew in her heart and soul.
I, by contrast, prayed beset by compromise-questions, doubts, feelings of God's elusive presence if not total concealment. Words of the prayer book were meant to analyze, to interpret, to free associate with; before me sat a woman stooped over her prayer book , a giant of humble and simple faith. In spite of my envy, I was grateful for the momentary awareness of such authentic faith. At least it served as a reminder that such faith was deeply recessed in all of us; our challenge would be to invite it back to our souls.

GRATEFUL FOR "HEAVY TRAFFIC?"

2010-06-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

This morning was no different from any other morning except that I joined the endless caravan of cars inching along Route 46 to cross the GWB into Manhattan. As we stopped and started a myriad of times, I imagined the quiet impatience and frustration of those undaunted spirits who do this every morning of every week ; I was thankful that I did not need to subject myself to this inevitability.
Yet, the slowness of movement afforded me the opportunity to have my breakfast in an unhurried and aware state of mind. I was able to slowly and intentionally pay attention to what I was eating and increase my gratitude for the delicious steel cut oatmeal mixed with strawberries and blueberries in my cup. I was not distracted to the point of not paying sufficient attention to the road or the cars in front of me;having breakfast was certainly less of a distraction than texting or speaking on a cell phone! The snail's pace flow of traffic allowed for a level of relaxed driving that only furthered my general sense of concentration on everything around me-the clear blue sky, the shining sun, the sharp greens of trees hanging over the road, and the delight of my breakfast meal.
Instead of agitation that often accompanies this situation of vehicular tie-ups, I knew that I would not be late to my destination and was able to derive much pleasure from this circumstance of being "stuck in traffic!" I had time that was held in abeyance, awaiting my inner input.There were no external options to entertain-I was alone with only a choice I could make within the recesses of my thinking and awareness.
I discovered a simple way to be grateful for what was and for nothing more.
We often find ourselves stuck in one place or another, by one circumstance or another. When there are no options ,what remains is our mind and our capacity to pay attention and be astonished by even a single strawberry in our cup of life.

GRATITUDE-SEEING THE WORLD AS ABUNDANT

2010-05-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

My family has just celebrated my son's 27th birthday. It was modest and lovely, and satisfied his expectations.Needless to say, we were all grateful. Yet, curiously, I found it difficult to fully enter into the awareness of gratitude. It remained a cerebral consciousness rather than one deeply felt.
I wondered why.
After much thought and contemplation it occurred to me that perhaps our difficulty with feeling grateful has less to do with not having enough and more to do with having too much, and not being able to properly register or spiritually ingest the fullness and totality of all the gifts bestowed upon us.
When a birthday is celebrated we are thankful for the safe arrival of the celebrant to that moment in one's life. If we stop to analyze all the components that enter into that journey of safety and security, we cannot avoid being entirely overwhelmed. Each moment, each encounter, each exposure, each happenstance, the myriad moments of sunshine and rain, of winter and spring, of work and play, of conflict and cooperation, of regression and progress, of slipping and gaining a new foothold, of new insights and ideas, of feeling the unchanging love and support of family and friends. So much-and thus I begin to understand the words of our Sabbath morning prayer- "Could song fill our mouth as water fills the sea
could our lips utter praise as limitless as the sky,
could our eyes match the splendor of the sun
could we run with gentle grace as the swiftest deer...
Never could we fully state our gratitude..."

The spiritual challenge remains, on every birthday and special occasion and in fact on every day of our lives to pause and peer into the mystery and wonder of being alive and allowing our hearts to say thank you.
Thank you for the countless blessings in my son's 27 years of life.

GRATEFUL FOR MY "MINYAN BUDDIES"

2010-05-06T10:21:00.000-07:00

It became evident to me this morning that I had omitted another important reason for gratitude associated with the "minyan." Usually, at the conclusion of the service, its members dash away to work or to other required destinations. Occasionally, a few linger.This morning I stayed behind and together with humorous and witty exchanges with some of my "buddies" I asked my professor "Buddy" for some suggestions regarding my work on a Passover Haggadah whose theme is that of gratefulness.In the course of our discussion I grew excited and re-energized: new and creative ideas filled the quiet of the early morning and i realized how grateful I am to have at my fingertips such a wealth of human knowledge, wisdom and creativity. How reassuring it was to know that in the event of some personal or professional challenge or difficulty, the "Minyan'" encompasses resources of such extraordinary value and assistance.
I thank my "buddies" for their interest, their support and their many wonderful suggestions.Indeed, it takes a "minyan" to raise not only a child but an adult as well.
We parted with the Yiddish words echoing in my ears: "a gebensched tog"-have a blessed day.
It certainly started off that way!

GRATEFUL FOR THE "MINYAN."

2010-04-27T08:06:00.001-07:00

The rabbi of my local synagogue reached out for help with the daily morning minyan, the quorum of ten adult Jews necessary for the conduct of the full morning service and indispensable for reciting Kaddish, the prayer of praise recited by mourners during the bereavement period. I volunteered, fully understanding how crushing an emotional experience it can be for a mourner not to be able to recite the kaddish-the guilt, the disappointment, the feeling of not being able to show one's love and respect for a parent or other loved one.
Time and again the rabbi graciously expressed how grateful he was for my participation.
After having attended for several months, I now increasingly recognize my own sense of gratefulness to him, to the synagogue and especially to the loyal members of this special group of people who , rain or shine, blizzard or gentle breezes, arrive at the synagogue at 7:00 am each weekday morning.
Thankfully I am not a mourner. Why am I grateful?
I am grateful for the blessing of beginning my day surrounded by fellow Jews in prayer shawl and phylacteries-talis and tefillin, who share sacred words and rituals that help me greet the new day with faith and joy.
I am grateful for the new found friends, one of whom not only brings welcome laughter to my heart, but elicits warm nostalgia of a world gone by, the world of Yiddish and the yeshiva that I attended in my youth and challenges my mind with profound insights about Judaism, psychiatry and life in general.
I am grateful for the inspiration derived from the devotion of the minyan's mainstay who at almost 90 years of age never fails to energize its participants.
I am grateful for a connection to a microcosm of my people with whom to exchange concerns about Israel, America and the world.
I am grateful for those who somehow know all there is about local affairs and make this information available to all. A bit of friendly gossip is, after all ,harmless and quite entertaining.
I am grateful for the opportunity to give a little charity-zedakah, for a worthy cause as the puschke, the alms box , is passed around each day.
I am grateful for a setting and community that leaves me happier, less anxious and more hopeful after a brief half-hour of worship together.
I am grateful knowing as long as there is a minyan, I will never be alone.
Literally, the word minyan means "counting."I am grateful that no matter how insecure, inadequate or unworthy I may feel, there is a place where I count-the minyan.
V'al kulam-for all this, modim anachnu lach-We thank You.

GRATEFUL FOR SPRING IN NEW YORK

2010-04-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

A picture is worth a thousand words-moreover, how can one describe in words the beauty of a flower or a tree? How do words capture the magnificence of a spring day in Manhattan?
Faced with this difficulty, I share with you several photographs of New York in spring in the hope that they will elicit some feeling of gratitude for being alive in the springtime in New York or any where else for that matter.

GRATEFUL FOR A "CO-OPERATIVE " APARTMENT

2010-03-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

Mediterranean West
Fort Lee, New Jersey

When my wife and I decided to look for a co-op apartment our primary consideration and
rationale was a financial one-why invest in a rental apartment and get nothing lasting in return! The co-op provided some equity for ourselves and our children.Today I discovered a more profound and meaningful reason for becoming part of a co-op arrangement ,if, of course, one has the means to do so.
I just returned from a funeral; the deceased was an elderly gentleman who would exercise in our modest gym almost daily.He always greeted me with glowing eyes and a bright smile, even when his health was failing and the regular exercise routine became too strenuous for him.Irving was always smiling, good-humored, kind and soft-spoken, surrounded by an aura of innate gentleness.
At the funeral, friends and neighbors spoke words of eulogy together with the rabbi and Irving's children.
Had I entered the chapel during the presentations of his friends I could easily have mistaken them for family. In fact, the chapel was occupied primarily by the residents of the co-op. I was struck by the realization that the co-op apartment is much more than an economic investment;
it is a community of people who can evolve into close friends and become virtual members of one's family. As I listened to words of gratitude , sadness and love, I realized what a blessing this community is to so many of its members; how important a role it plays in transforming one's final days into moments of delight , companionship and meaning. I understood how grateful I could be for this gift, in spite of the downturn in the real estate economy which made for significant losses in the value of each apartment. There was only the increased value to the human benefit of being part of this community, a benefit beyond the measurement of money.
It was a sad day for all of us; but in the midst of the darkness of this day I caught a glimmer of light that reflected a source of goodness and gratitude , the light of this kind, gentle man and the light of a caring community.

GRATEFUL FOR THE RETURN OF 'FINE-FEATHERED'FRIENDS

2010-03-23T06:43:00.000-07:00

I spryly climbed the stairs to the synagogue making my way to the early morning minyan, the quorum needed for communal prayer. Rousing me from traces of sleep was a symphony of twittering cascading into my ears from the treetops above. Wild sounds, chaotic chirping, a cacophony of shrill chirping filled the misty morning air. I looked up and the branches were laden with fluttering creatures, abuzz with excited movement, as if declaring to the skies: "We are thrilled to be back-it has been a long cold winter and now we eagerly await the warmth and sunshine of spring!"
I too greeted them with a smile and a feeling of gratitude that their return signaled the imminent return of days without heavy coats, gloves and scarves wrapped around reddened ears.
"Modeh ani lefanehcha"-"I thank You for the new day, a day begun with birds' blessings and praise." I stepped into the synagogue, ready to pray.

The Birds

GRATEFUL FOR BEING WITHOUT WATER??

2010-03-15T06:45:00.000-07:00

My fellow residents were not terribly happy this morning. They stood in the elevator in angry silence, self-conscious , receding into the elevator walls; the elevator filled with the fragrances of pungent perfumes and body lotions; it was Monday morning that only partially explained our sullenness.We were without water-the weather had battered several surrounding communities in Northern New Jersey and the New York area, toppling trees, damaging water stations , downing electrical lines and crushing innocent lives within a few unlucky seconds of life's unexplainable randomness.
Bodies unwashed, teeth un brushed, toilets un flushed-nothing to be grateful for. I cannot count the number of times I unconsciously turned on the tap, with the sudden awareness of no water . People dashed to super markets and convenient stores only to breathlessly discover shelves bare of bottled water.
I returned to the elevator.This time, my fellow residents seemed more jovial; the "crisis" created responses of joviality and sharing.Instead of sullen silence, people joked and laughed. It was good to witness such good naturedness.
As time went on, we came closer to the promised time of restored water flow. This too buoyed our moods.
I await the return of water to my home. As I do I realize how grateful I could be for the everyday
convenience of having water arrive at my finger tips without lifting a finger.Unlike the millions of others who walk miles with jars on shoulders or jerrycans in hand to depleted and muddy ponds of water , and for whom places of bodily excretions are located in outdoor spots that harbor minimal privacy, we are blessed with PS&G or CON EDISON, with an advanced and efficient technology and government that shower the gift of water upon us each day, no matter how wet or dry the streets outside.
Today is a good day to again say thank you; adults may need some encouragement; not children who once again can remain in bed snuggled under warm blankets and day dream of TV shows yet to be watched, and friends with whom to hang out all day. All schools were closed -what a gift!

GRATEFUL FOR ANOTHER SCHOLAR-IN -RESIDENCE WEEKEND

2010-03-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

I have just returned from Grand Rapids, Michigan, where I was warmly hosted by a colleague and his remarkable family for a weekend experience of sharing my thoughts about gratefulness as a spiritual path. Grand Rapids is a small Jewish community but what it does not have in numbers it certainly more than makes up for in warmth, generosity, dedication and genuine commitment to Judaism.
I was invited to teach but in fact it turned out that I was the student. At each occasion of this kind, I discover that people of all walks of life, of varying ages and experiences, emerge as sources of enriching and inspirational insights and ideas. As they honestly share their struggles with becoming more grateful and how it impacts on their lives, I gain a deeper and broader clarity of gratefulness' depth and scope for myself and as a concept shared by others.
One example will suffice.
Friday night I spoke of the meaning of gratefulness and pointed out its origin in the word-grates-which suggests something we receive freely, namely our very lives. One woman approached me and excitedly indicated that not only is gratefulness a response for receiving something free, but it is an approach to life that makes us free. In other words, the way to freedom is the way of gratefulness. She feels freer each time she is in touch with her ability to feel grateful for her life. Of course I could not help but appreciate that insight in light of the rapid approach of Passover, the season of our freedom. The gratitude of others elicited my own sense of gratitude and I came to learn how infectious gratefulness can be and the blessing it could bring to others.
In the spirit of gratefulness I extend myself freely to have conversations with others about this vital spiritual idea. Invariably, I am handsomely rewarded with deepened levels of gratitude for the privilege of enriching the lives of others.
Thank you Grand Rapids-Blessings for abundant gratefulness in the future.

GRATEFULNESS FOR SNOW??

2010-03-01T06:46:00.000-08:00

We are finally digging out! After record breaking snow-fall for the New York area, the roads are passable, electricity has been restored ,we can once again catch sight of the rooftops our our cars, and the economy which lost billions of dollars in non-productivity is humming once again. And of course, to the great delight of parents, children have returned to school.
The weather is a phenomenon of nature that is inevitable, over which we have no control. We can anticipate it, we can prepare for it; we can't stop it! But we can cultivate an inner attitude toward what it is and how it affects are lives.
The snow storm brought much suffering to many. People lost their lives, income, and budget commitments.Dangerous roads and sidewalks caused innumerable accidents; the homeless and unprotected shivered in the snow's wetness, and dreamed of sunny days when the sun's warming rays would once again be free for all to bask in.
On the surface, there was not much to be grateful for.
Yet, what stands out in my memory of this unusual event are recollections that do in fact elicit a deep sense of gratitude for this wonderful gift of nature. The sheer and utter glee of children being informed that the following day school would be closed rang out like the peals of the liberty bell throughout the hallways of my apartment building; the hundreds of children transported to a fairy land of pure white joy, sliding and skating and romping in the snow , filled my heart with a lightness of being that swept away the coldness of the wintry air.
The innumerable kindnesses and courtesies that I encountered reminded me of the basic goodness of people; and the beauty of white's purifying power as the world took comfort and refuge under a blanket of silken flakes, allowed us to hear winter's symphony , the silence of our own pure souls.
In three weeks spring will officially arrive; until then, we will wind our ways through slush, water and mud. White will wash away into shades of brown and gray, until finally the world will explode into a rainbow of colors bringing the message of renewed life and new awakening.
For all of the shades of life, for an-ever changing world of unexpected surprises and unfortold phenomena, we open our hearts and greet it all with "thank you."

GRATEFUL FOR ANOTHER ORDINARY BUS RIDE

2010-02-16T06:21:00.001-08:00

“Watch your step!” “Take your time!” “Don’t need to rush!”
These words accompanied the warm smile that crossed the bus conductor’s face. Passengers anxiously climbed over snow banks, relieved to put their feet on the rubber matted bus floor. “Thank you” echoed through the front of the vehicle as the conductor politely collected each fare or acknowledged each presentation of a bus pass.
It was the day after a snowstorm that buried New York and the surrounding areas in a canopy of cleansing whiteness, one that drew a drape of eerie quiet over a city that never sleeps. Awakening from its rare slumber it wearily shoveled its way back to life, and hundreds of thousand of children grudgingly returned to classrooms after a full day’s gleeful rump in the snow.
As the bus made its way toward the massive skyline of Manhattan, the sky lit up with the early morning sun that had been in hiding for well over two days. The driver attentively watched the roads still patched over with browning snow and ice and at the same time kept his eye out for stragglers who couldn’t quite arrive at designated bus stops on time. Stopping for each one, he patiently awaited their approach to the doors of the bus and greeted them with a welcome and understanding smile.
Perhaps the ride took a little longer than usual. I was unaware of time’s passage but sat gratefully observing an everyday kindness that filled my ride with a renewed sense of joy. More often than not the transit company is deluged with complaints; today it was deserving of praise. Today it represented the possibility of beginning everyday with a feeling of gratitude, knowing that our way to work, school or play is in the hands of conductors who politely smile and extend their competence and compassion to all and in whose hands are the safety and well-being of complete strangers, who for the briefest time, constitute a family of fellow travelers.

GRATEFUL FOR A "MARATHON"

2010-01-11T07:30:00.000-08:00

Four years ago I ran the New York City marathon. I was one of 37,000 people running a distance of over 26 miles in a little more than five hours.
Yesterday, I experienced a different kind of marathon; I was one of sixteen people whose journey didn't take them along the streets of New York but instead covered the physical space of several square feet of one lovely apartment on the Upper West side but whose spiritual distance was an unending path leading to the greater depth of Jewish spirituality. We didn't use our bodies but our minds, hearts and souls. It was an all-day marathon in Hebrew Literacy, a run towards the ability to read the prayers of the Jewish people in the language of our Torah, Siddur and religious writings.
We began, as I did before the NYC marathon with the blessing of "Shehecheyanu," thanking God for the privilege of engaging in this journey.
For me, the day was one of utter gratefulness . The reasons are many; we were hosted by a most loving and generous individual whose wonderful apartment pulsated with loving energy that enhanced our capacity to move forward the entire day; we were blessed with the constant presence and open-hearted availability of our facilitator who willingly and good-naturedly ran around making sure that we had sufficient copies of our text and delicious food for our lunch and did so always with a smile; in spite of 9 hours of rote-like review of alien letters and words which demanded the gruelling exercise of memorization and an inexhaustible source of patience and support, never for a moment did any one of us experience impatience, hostility or complaints from any of the participants;rather, the room radiated with an an uninterrupted flow of support, genuine caring and concern, and an awful lot of laughter, humor and refreshing fun. Unlike the end of the running marathon at which point I felt completely exhausted and depleted, somehow I was able to maintain an unusually high level of buoyancy and energy until the very last words of our Hebrew review.Perhaps our greatest joy arrived when for the first time in our lives we were able to correctly read a full Hebrew word. As adults who missed such opportunities of learning for so many different reasons, the past, with its discomfort and feelings of alienation was washed away by the gentle and nurturing waters of recognition and awareness in the community of loving companions.Finally ,the treasure of Jewish worship and prayer could be touched with more understanding and open hearted familiarity.
Four years ago, when I crossed the finish line , I recited the traditional blessing -"Hatov v'Hameyteev" - I thank You,Source of the Good, for allowing us to share in Your goodness and beneficence.
Yesterday, at five o'clock in the afternoon, at the end of this extraordinary day of gratefulness,the words of this blessing echoed through the hearts of all my fellow runners. We made it. Halleluyah.
PS When we came to the Hebrew word -ROMMEMU-and read it successfully, we all exploded into an ear-splitting response of applause, shouting and laughter.

HANNUKAH-A TIME OF PRAISE

2009-12-14T09:12:00.000-08:00

What is a friend?
One who knows your soul and loves it by nurturing it.I am grateful to have such a friend.
He sent me the following poem that I believe represents all of my personal spiritual stirivings and those of Hannukah and Judaism in general.
During this period of Hannukah we recite HALLEL-Psalms of Praise which are integral parts of all festive occasions on the Jewish calendar. It is my assertion that praise connected to gratefulness is the spiritual oasis of all of us, a place and opportunity by which to encounter life's miracle and endure all of life's challenges with grace, love and courage.
These are the words that should be etched on all our souls:
“Tell us, O poet, what do you do? I praise. But those dark, deadly devastating ways,/ How do you bear them, suffer them? I praise. And the Nameless, beyond guess or gaze, /How can you call it, conjure it? I praise. And whence your right, in every kind of maze/In every mask, to remain true? I praise. And that the mildest and the wildest ways/ Know you like star and storm? Because I praise.
Rilke
Happy Hannukah

GRATEFULNESS AND HANNUKAH

2009-12-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

It's easy to be grateful on Hannukah! How can one not be thankful for miracles? After all, the miraculous is pretty spectacular and we all love a good spectacle.
Lights are lovely, dreidels, delightful,latkes-potato pancakes- mouth watering, gift giving or Chanukeh gelt, a good reason for gratitude. It is Jewishly ennobling to gain an awareness of the victory of the few and poorly armed Maccabees over the large and better equipped armies of the ancient Syrian-Greeks. The struggle for religious freedom is a message that resonates comfortably in the minds of modern Jews. There are no restrictions of any significance during these eight days , and the over-all ambience is one of rejoicing and playful celebration.
Enough said as a reason for connecting gratefulness to this occasion? I think not and suggest a dimension of understanding that takes us beyond the obvious of Hannukah.
The one major concrete act of the holiday is kindling lights for eight days. Its purpose according to rabbinic tradition is to "publicize the miracle" in Aramaic:pirsuma nissah . For this reason we place the Menorah in the windows of our homes for outsiders to catch a glimpse of the lights; in many communities, especially among the Lubavitcher Hassidim, we witness enormous Menorahs placed in the most populous locations of our towns and cities and observe rabbis in cherry pickers with torch in hand lighting flames that can be seen from
far away distances.
To publicize the miracle has a deeper, more modest meaning for me. The spiritual purpose of Hannukah is to enable every individual to raise one's inner consciousness of the miracle, the wonder and the remarkable realities not only of Hannukah but of all of Jewish and human experience. When we recite the special "al hanissim" prayer it is placed alongside the daily prayer in which we acknowledge and thank God for the miraculous realities of every day of our lives, evening, morning and noontime. The challenge of Hannukkah ,indeed of all of Judaism, is to publicize the miracle as an integral part of our spiritual lives and in this way respond with gratefulness to the countless reflections of the divine, of the wondrous, as they flicker and dance in the shadowy spaces of our lives.
Take a moment or two from the games, gift giving , eating , singing and praying of Hanukkah and simply observe the lights -perhaps in these quiet few moments you will gratefully rediscover life's great miracle.
Happy Hannukah

GRATEFUL FOR MY SON'S DEVAR TORAH ON HANNUKAH

2009-12-07T08:21:00.000-08:00

We were driving along the streets of Manhattan and I was sharing my weekend experiences as scholar in residence in a nearby synagogue with my son, Jeremiah. In particular I tried to convey how I understood the importance of Hannukah from the vantage point of gratefulness.It was somewhat elaborate-after all it had to take up at least 20 minutes of sermon time in the synagogue! Almost instinctively Jeremiah replied with a simple but very moving interpretation of Chanukah's richness as a source of connection to gratefulness living in our spiritual lives.I gratefully share his insight.
On the surface we focus on the LIGHTS of Hannukah-they capture our attention and symbolize so much of our emotional attachment to the holiday.Behind the light,however, is the oil, the fuel without which the fire and the light are impossible."I see gratitude as the oil, the fuel, that has the power of kindling the lights of enlightenment and joy," he concluded.
I became aware of a new way of understanding the popular legend of Hannukah's miracle, the oil sufficient for one day lasting for eight days.If we understand oil-gratitude as spiritual fuel, then this miracle takes on new and ongoing significance. A slight awareness of the gift of life for which to feel grateful carries the potential for the outpouring of increased capacities to see the world as a miraculous and a marvelous gift for which we can hardly hold back our response of praise and gratitude.To me gratitude, as a spiritual fuel,is entirely renewable and capable of energizing our spiritual lives with added dimensions of beauty, joy and holiness.It is no accident that we ignite an additional light each night of Hannukah; we do so to remind us of the power of a single spark to kindle a flame of passion, love and goodness which will to illuminate the many dark corners of our our lives and the world.

Happy Hannukah

GRATEFUL FOR A SCHOLAR-IN-RESIDENCE WEEKEND

2009-12-07T07:45:00.000-08:00

I have just returned from a weekend in Long Island during which I conducted several discussions on the meaning of gratefulness at a wonderfully 'heimeshe' and welcoming congregation, East Northport Jewish Center.
Rabbi Ian and Beth Silverman were the most gracious of hosts;within minutes of my arrival I felt at home and this feeling only grew and deepened as the weekend unfolded.
Congregants were quick to warmly extend greetings and offer ways by which to make my stay at their synagogue an enjoyable and comfortable one.
I am most grateful for one particular experience. On Friday evening, in attendance were over twenty children. I am a strong believer in engaging everyone in my presentations. I directed my opening question to these pre-Bar/Bat Mitzvah age youngsters:
What are you most grateful for? I asked.
The answers were reassuring, mature, and I think quite remarkable.
For those who replied, the sources of their greatest gratitude were: family-parents, friends, synagogue, being Jewish and people in general. Hannukah was in the air and yet no one referred to the prospect of Hannukah gifts as the impetus for feeling grateful.Not a single child made mention of a video game as a reason for being thankful! I confess that I was quite impressed and felt most grateful for this group of young Jewish children who were reared to recognize the important aspects of gratefulness living.I think these responses reflected not only the uniqueness of the children but their families and their synagogue community as well.

As we approach Hannukah, and gifts are exchanged, I pray that we all feel deep gratitude for what we receive;I hope that beyond the material items given to loved ones and friends, we will once again be conscious of the enduring gifts for which to be unendingly grateful-family, friends, the synagogue, the honor of being Jewish and the gift of being human.

Hag Hannukah Sameach.

GRATEFUL FOR AN ORDINARY BUS RIDE

2009-12-04T07:19:00.000-08:00

Each Thursday morning, bright and early, I board a bus for Manhattan where I teach at a local college.My stop is the first one and I take a seat next to the driver, alongside the stairs leading up into the belly of the bus.The next 40 minutes is a period of observation and thought. Unlike others, I cannot read or write while the bus is moving.Stop after stop, people ascend and descend like the angels in the Genesis story of Jacob's dream of the ladder stationed on earth with its top pointing heavenward. Each human angel is on her way up the ladder of the day, a journey to an office, shop, warehouse, factory, boardroom or schoolroom.
Sunrise fills the sky and pours into the bus, blinking eyes catching sight of skyscrapers beckoning silently, awaiting our arrival. Each ordinary bus ride fills me with amazement as I return to the place that dazzled my imagination when as a young and impressionable teenager of sixteen I stood gazing at the towering reality of Times Square on my first visit from Canada. Manhattan's magic and marvel never cease; I am transported to a world of utter wonderment with each arrival.
We wind our way along the wavy waters of the Hudson; and entering the Mid-Town Tunnel my mind leaps to the Biblical image of a people cutting through the waters of the Red Sea on dry land to safety. The engineering feat of a tunnel creating dry space for motor vehicles to drive through in the hundreds of thousands each day is a constant reaffirmation of the miracles and wonders of modern life."The waters were split, forming a wall for them on their right and on their left."
65 passengers alight from the bus and disappear into the throngs of Manhattan's morning movement. Waves of water, waves of people, the stream of life ,churning and tumultuous, ascending and descending, alive.A spectacle of surprise, another day's gift for which to be grateful.
Shabbat Shalom

Gratefulness or Gratitude: Thanksgiving Reflections

2009-11-27T12:28:00.000-08:00

I have often been asked why I prefer to use Gratefulness instead of Gratitude whenever attempting to highlight the centrality of being grateful as a spiritual state of enlightenment. Perhaps the Torah reading for this Shabbat, Vayeitzei, will shed some light on the distinction between the two.
The rabbis tell us “From the beginning of time no one ever thanked God as Leah did.”(Talmud Berachot 7b)
This commentary is based on the verse “She conceived again and bore a son and declared-This time I will praise, thank -odeh- the Lord.” (Genesis 29:35)
The Etz Hayyim commentary (2001, The Rabbinical Assembly, JPS, p.174) provides us with an insightful reading of this text. ”The names of Leah’s three sons reflect her frustrating rivalry with her sister for the love of the husband they share… Now with the fourth son, her mood changes from rivalry to gratitude, so she names him Judah (Yehudah) from the Hebrew root meaning “to praise”…Her heartfelt prayer of thanks reflects her having grown from self-concern and a focus on what she lacked to a genuine sense of appreciation for what was hers.”
In other words Leah I am sure felt gratitude each time she was blessed with a child, feeling a temporary hope that with each birth she will finally fill her sense of being unloved with the appreciation and love of her husband. But that was no to be the case, She remained the less preferred wife, even after the birth of Judah. At this point, however, she arrived at a state of mind that was inherently grateful without extraneous expectation .She was suffused with grateFULness, not merely feeling gratitude for a particular gift. Her way of experiencing the world was not conditioned on receiving anything; rather-“Hapaam”-this time, in this moment I have been able to recognize the giftedness of being a woman and being able to bear a child-my sense of self is no longer determined by what I expect from others i.e. my husband, but rather from an awareness of being grateful for who I am.
This is the great spiritual challenge of Thanksgiving-We give thanks for so much in our lives, we can and should feel gratitude; as we think about Leah, the loveless Matriarch with “weak eyes,” we take inspiration from her strong sense of self rooted in her capacity to praise and thank God f for who she was, and celebrate her life with gratefulness.
Happy Thanksgiving and
Shabbat Shalom.

GRATEFUL FOR A PLACE OF WISDOM-ROMEMU

2009-11-15T07:08:00.000-08:00

Tenoo li ahuzat kever…
Sell me a burial site…
Genesis 23:3

The “leitwort,” the pivoyal word repeated in twelve different forms in the course of the first chapter is that connected with burial, kavor. Abraham has lost his wife Sarah; he needs to bury her, and acquires a family burial plot in the land of Canaan where his family will bury their dead in perpetuity.This act is followed by a resumption of living as he directs his servant to seek out a proper mate for his son Isaac.Abraham in old age then proceeds to remarry and bear more children.

Yesterday, during Shabbat services at Romemu, Rabbi David Ingber invited the congregation to pair off with another worshipper and engage in an exchange around the question: What do you need to bury before you can proceed with your own life?
It was a powerful exercise that made conscious many of the obstacles that stand in the way of our personal growth and forward spiritual movement. I considered this personal and intimate application of what appears to be a formal transaction in the Torah as a brilliant exegesis of Torah’s everyday wisdom. This gift of being able to translate an ancient text into a contemporary and living document for enhancing our lives is one with which Rabbi David is blessed and for which I am deeply grateful.

In contemplating the act of burial as a “de-cathexis” it occurred to me that the root of the word to bury –kvr- also spells a totally opposite word that suggests the very opposite of burial and finality.
If the letters are rearranged, we have a new word-vkr- morning, three letters that also constitute the name of Isaac’s wife, (R)i(vk)ah. That is, for a new beginning to emerge in our lives it is imperative that we let go, we bury certain things of our past and honor them for what they were and go on with our lives. The past is important and must be recognized and honored, but only in the service of today and tomorrow.
I am grateful to Rabbi David for providing me with the spaciousness and creative opening to further interpret his words and those of the Torah.

GRATEFUL FOR A TORAH READING-HAYEI SARAH

2009-11-13T13:18:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday I turned seventy. Since then I have found myself contemplating my mortality and vulnerability. I have experienced an array of feelings touching on sadness, fear and uncertainty. There was more in my life that was behind rather than ahead of me; my cup was no longer full, but mostly empty.

This is a depressing thought, one that confronts us with a spiritual challenge not only when we age, but whenever we feel that life's fullness is somehow out of reach for us, whether as a result of loss, illness, grief or some other personal experience of failure. How do we cope? How do we go ahead with our lives in a joyful and meaningful way?

One answer is found, I believe, in a striking passage of Hayyai Sarah. Sarah has died, Abraham has acquired a burial place for her, and we are told: "Abraham was old, advanced in years,and the Lord blessed Abraham in all things - Va'Adonai berakh et Avraham ba'kol." (Genesis 24: 1)

Many commentators point out that indeed Abraham enjoyed all the desired blessings of life - longevity, wealth, honor and wonderful children (Ibn Ezra). Yet, somehow, others dwell on what Abraham desired most and didn't receive until his final years, as the source of his greatest blessing, namely his own progeny. Rashi sees the bakol as equivalent in numerical value to ben, son, namely 52. Thus the blessing of greatest value is his son, Isaac for whom he needs to provide an appropriate wife which represents a segue to the remaining portion of the parashah.

A somewhat amusing discussion arises among our sages regarding the value of a daughter in ancient society; Rabbi Meir contending that because Abraham did not have a daughter, he considered himself blessed; Rabbi Judah, to the contrary, understood the word bakol asthe name of Abraham's daughter (Bava Batra 16b).

The commentary that resonates most powerfully for me is the Ramban, Nachmanides: "Others provided a hiddush, a fresh and innovative interpretation, one that is very profound and contains the deepest of secrets and mysteries of the Torah...that the holy One Blessed be He, possesses a divine trait that is known as KOL- ALL, and this is the foundation of everything...and He blessed him (Abraham) with this characteristic that emanates from God's Allness."

In spite of Abraham's loss of his beloved wife Sarah, the uncertainty of his son's future and the trials of advanced age, he nonetheless felt blessed because he had acquired an inner spiritual quality of the Divine which was the capacity to see life's fullness and completeness in all things and at all times. Abraham's intimacy with God found its expression in this connection to the totality and fullness of life. Everything is God-Ein od milvado (Deut. 4:35, chanted as the first verse before the Haqafot)- and the capacity to recognize the divine in everything, even in one's advancing years, is the greatest of all blessings. Moreover, Abraham's sefirotic attachment is Hesed, compassion. Thus Abraham's love can be seen as a natural outpouring of his attribute of kol.

"...the ability to perceive "allness" is a way of coping (compassionately) with evil and suffering." (I Thank therefore I Am-Gateways to Gratefulness, X Libris, p. 88)

As I make my way into my 71st year, I pray that I be blessed with Abraham's insight of "allness." May we all be blessed with the awareness of the divine in all things and in this way not only cope with the challenges ahead of us, but convert them into paths of greater gratefulness, hesed, and peace.

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The Grateful Rabbi On YOU TUBE

2009-11-13T12:50:00.001-08:00

here is a video of a talk in Toronto Canada-Feb.2008.

GRATEFUL FOR MY "GRATEFULNESS GATHERING"

2009-11-02T07:38:00.000-08:00

I didn't want a birthday party- I was turning 70, a milestone year in anyone's life, and I wished to experience it as simply and quietly as possible.My family felt otherwise and my wife suggested that instead of a "birthday party" with connotations of excess and going overboard, we refer to the event as a "Gratefulness Gathering." I agreed and indeed the occasion was extraordinary ; friends and family came together, ate and drank, shared their friendship and love, and made me cry with gratitude for them and my life.
Only token gifts were brought; in the spirit of gratefulness each participant was encouraged to donate something to a charitable cause of their own choosing. Gratefulness needed to be translated into compassion for it to be fulfilling.
Perhaps others will adopt this practice when celebrating their birthdays and discover the greatest gift of all, the gift of loving gratitude.

GRATEFUL FOR THE "DOULA" PROGRAM

2009-10-29T16:32:00.000-07:00

Last night, together with ten others, I completed an eight week program of preparation to become a compassionate companion to those whose life is ending . The program is sponsored by the Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services, and for ten years has prepared doulas to help the dying experience their final moments peacefully and with personal meaning. “Doula” is the Greek word for servant and is commonly associated with the activity of birth. This term is now applied to the task of accompanying seriously ill patients through the process of dying. To be a doula, a servant of life, is a great privilege. In the words of Rachel Naomi Remen, “When I help, I have a feeling of satisfaction, but when I serve I have a feeling of gratitude.”
To serve in the capacity of doula to the dying is to act as an “empty vessel” into which the dying person can pour her fears, his hopes, her rage and his pain, and feel comforted that the compassionate companion will not judge, recriminate or moralize but listen lovingly and through compassionate acceptance affirm the dying person’s dignity and humanity.
I am grateful for the opportunity to serve not as a rabbi or a social worker-professions for which I have been schooled and trained-but simply as Henry, as another human being who hopefully will discover in his heart the capacity to care for another human being.
Finally, my gratefulness is particularly poignant because the class has been blessed with the teaching presence of two extraordinary social workers and human beings, instructors not only in the skills of human service but in the wisdom of the human heart. Not once did a word of judgment or insensitivity cross their lips; not once did anyone ever feel anything but the profoundest respect and compassion from these women; their honesty ,love and dedication to compassionate service, reflected an authenticity of soul so rare in today’s world of self concealment and the need to be rigidly perfect and untouchable. They were indeed model “doulas” who brought comfort and joy, and a spiritual discovery to people from every walk of life, enabling, encouraging and inspiring.
To all doulas:
Blessings for a future of abundant gratefulness.