The writings of our Sages can be compared to a crown, the crown of Torah which is referred to beautifully in the Ethics of the Fathers, Chapter 4,17. This crown is studded with the precious gems of wonderful insights of instruction and inspiration. One of my most beloved Jewish "crowns" is that of the Maharal of Prague. (Rabbi Judah Loew, seminal Jewish thinker, 1525-1609.) A sparkling jewel on his crown is a delightful play on words that reflects the spiritual importance and endurance of the quality of gratefulness in one's life.
He quotes Ecclesiastes, Chapter 5,9,which points to the insufficiency of material wealth as a source of happiness. "A lover of money, lit.silver, never has his fill of money." The Maharal cleverly correlates the Hebrew word for money or silver-kessef- to the verb-kassof- to long for, to desire. Not only is material wealth a natural desire, but embedded in this desire for money is the psychological risk of on-going frustration and unhappiness because of wealth's inability to satisfy our human need for fulfillment.
Furthermore, another Hebrew word for wealth- zahav-gold, contains a double dimension of meaning that can be either detrimental or helpful in the pursuit of spiritual happiness. He exercises another word play, dividing the Hebrew world-zahav-into its two syllables, each of which spells out another word: zeh-this, hav-give.
In other words, if the individual is attached to the need to have gold given to him, then he is trapped in the web of endless desire. However, if one understands the meaning as "to give to others," namely, the mitzvah of zedakah, the sacred duty to give and to share with others, especially out of a recognition of having been given to by God, then gold becomes the golden opportunity for the acquisition of gratefulness and inner spiritual satisfaction.
Perhaps this is the reason that gold -zahav-is regarded as more valuable than silver-kessef.
Grateful for the Torah of our tradition.
The Grateful Rabbi
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Gratefulness-A Definition
In common usage, “gratefulness” and “gratitude” - which derive from a common Latin root - gratia or gratus - are often used interchangeably. I prefer to use “gratefulness” because the suffix ful conveys a greater sense of the fullness of the experience. It evokes amore all-embracing condition of being in a state of thankfulness and appreciation. Interestingly, a well-known Christian devotional writer, Benedictine monk and psychologist, David Steindel-Rast, has made the following distinction between “thankfulness” and “gratefulness”: “Personal gratitude deserves to be called thankfulness, because it typically expresses itself in thanks given to a giver by the receiver of the gift. Transpersonal gratitude deserves to be called gratefulness, because it is typically the full response of a person to gratuitous belonging...Gratefulness is the mystical element of religious gratitude, thankfulness is its theological one.”
The dictionary definition of gratefulness is associated with grates, which means – “free, pleasing.” We are given life without doing anything, without deserving it, without having to struggle for it. It is free, a pure gift. Life is unexpected; it comes as a “surprise”. It is not frightening or worrisome but rather a source of anticipation, excitement and wonderment. Viewed this way, life can become an endless source of gratefulness.
The Modern Hebrew word for “gratefulness” is hakarat hatov, which can be translated as the “the recognition of a favor.” I would submit that this term has another definition that is highly germane to our topic. In Hebrew, lehakir, the infinitive form of hakarat, “to recognize,” can also mean to “make the acquaintance of” someone or something. Tov can mean “favor” or “goodness.” Simply put, the power of gratefulness lies in its capacity to allow us to become emotionally and spiritually acquainted, in one’s heart and soul, with the reality that all things, in some profound if not entirely observable way, are intrinsically – good. To be grateful is to see life as a constant source of goodness with which all people can make a warmer and more honest acquaintance.
The dictionary definition of gratefulness is associated with grates, which means – “free, pleasing.” We are given life without doing anything, without deserving it, without having to struggle for it. It is free, a pure gift. Life is unexpected; it comes as a “surprise”. It is not frightening or worrisome but rather a source of anticipation, excitement and wonderment. Viewed this way, life can become an endless source of gratefulness.
The Modern Hebrew word for “gratefulness” is hakarat hatov, which can be translated as the “the recognition of a favor.” I would submit that this term has another definition that is highly germane to our topic. In Hebrew, lehakir, the infinitive form of hakarat, “to recognize,” can also mean to “make the acquaintance of” someone or something. Tov can mean “favor” or “goodness.” Simply put, the power of gratefulness lies in its capacity to allow us to become emotionally and spiritually acquainted, in one’s heart and soul, with the reality that all things, in some profound if not entirely observable way, are intrinsically – good. To be grateful is to see life as a constant source of goodness with which all people can make a warmer and more honest acquaintance.
Monday, January 7, 2008
MORE GRATEFULNESS THOUGHTS ABOUT THE UNDESERVING
The greatest benefit of teaching is learning. Without question, a conversation about an issue shared with others is a richly rewarding experience by which one is further enlightened. As the Ethics of the Fathers expounds so beautifully and succinctly:"Who is wise? One who learns from all people.."(Chpt. 4: 1)
I was blessed , as I am very often, with this form of illumination in the course of a discussion in my "little"(But by no means lesser) synagogue in the lush woods of Annapolis last Shabbat. I shared the importance of the BIRCHAT HAGOMEL-posting dated 1/4/08- elaborating upon the term-chayaveem-undeserving or obligated, those referred to in the blessing as being grateful for favors bestowed upon them in spite of their "undeservedness."
One participant, a physician, a wonderful family man and a learned and sophisticated Jew, highlighted what he considered to be of utmost importance associated with seeing ourselves as undeserving yet receiving the benefit of surviving danger and crisis. To him this term only magnified a profound spiritual awareness of our being loved 'unconditionally' by God or by whatever transcendent source one believes enables us to live and overcome the hazards of life. Like a loving parent, our love for our children is or should be ultimately unconditional , with no strings attached. By reciting the blessing at a moment of feeling rescued and delivered from mishap, although undeserving, we gain a keen awareness of a dimension of life that saturates our spiritual world with an experience of being loved, protected and taken care of; the world is not a callous , dangerous and scary place but rather a home in which we can feel benevolence , care and love.
I fully realize that most of us , myself included, have an almost naturally jaded view of the world, one that suggests not hopefulness and compassion but cynicism and distrust. With all the misery on this planet, dare we envision a reality for which to be grateful? Is this not a fantasy, a fool's dream?
Yet, how can we entirely deny the prospect and possibility of a loving and concerned reality that suffuses our ambiance of human awareness with hope ? Can we in fact live meaningfully without this spiritual supposition? I think not. Thus my commitment to the promotion and cultivation of our ability, nay,our gift of gratefulness, without which life's sacredness dissolves into absurdity and futility.
We acknowledge a Divine Source which bestows favor and goodness upon us whether we are deserving or not. Knowing this is a great comfort and a reason to awaken each morning with words of praise and thanksgiving on our lips "MODEH ANI LEFANECHA." I am thankful in Your Presence.
I was blessed , as I am very often, with this form of illumination in the course of a discussion in my "little"(But by no means lesser) synagogue in the lush woods of Annapolis last Shabbat. I shared the importance of the BIRCHAT HAGOMEL-posting dated 1/4/08- elaborating upon the term-chayaveem-undeserving or obligated, those referred to in the blessing as being grateful for favors bestowed upon them in spite of their "undeservedness."
One participant, a physician, a wonderful family man and a learned and sophisticated Jew, highlighted what he considered to be of utmost importance associated with seeing ourselves as undeserving yet receiving the benefit of surviving danger and crisis. To him this term only magnified a profound spiritual awareness of our being loved 'unconditionally' by God or by whatever transcendent source one believes enables us to live and overcome the hazards of life. Like a loving parent, our love for our children is or should be ultimately unconditional , with no strings attached. By reciting the blessing at a moment of feeling rescued and delivered from mishap, although undeserving, we gain a keen awareness of a dimension of life that saturates our spiritual world with an experience of being loved, protected and taken care of; the world is not a callous , dangerous and scary place but rather a home in which we can feel benevolence , care and love.
I fully realize that most of us , myself included, have an almost naturally jaded view of the world, one that suggests not hopefulness and compassion but cynicism and distrust. With all the misery on this planet, dare we envision a reality for which to be grateful? Is this not a fantasy, a fool's dream?
Yet, how can we entirely deny the prospect and possibility of a loving and concerned reality that suffuses our ambiance of human awareness with hope ? Can we in fact live meaningfully without this spiritual supposition? I think not. Thus my commitment to the promotion and cultivation of our ability, nay,our gift of gratefulness, without which life's sacredness dissolves into absurdity and futility.
We acknowledge a Divine Source which bestows favor and goodness upon us whether we are deserving or not. Knowing this is a great comfort and a reason to awaken each morning with words of praise and thanksgiving on our lips "MODEH ANI LEFANECHA." I am thankful in Your Presence.
Friday, January 4, 2008
UNDESERVING GRATEFULNESS
After surviving a mishap or crisis, recovering from a serious illness or returning safely from a long and especially hazardous journey, it is traditional Jewish practice to recite a blessing in the synagogue during the reading of the Torah. This is called- BIRCHAT HAGOMEL.
"Praised are You...showing goodness to us beyond our merits for bestowing favor upon me."
In light of the accident I experienced several days ago, I intend to recite this blessing in my synagogue in Annapolis this Shabbat.
At first glance, we are impressed by the awareness of sheer survival in the midst of circumstances that are threatening and chaotic. We acknowledge the existence and intervention, in some incomprehensible way, of a Power or Force ie. God ,who ultimately is responsible for our well-being. This understanding may lead to theological challenges. It is not my intention to deal with them but rather to interpret the meaning of this blessing in a way that can be universally accepted and appreciated.
To me this blessing heightens my awareness of how grateful I can and should feel in the presence of the unpredictable and mysterious unfolding of life. The blessing humbly recognizes our undeserving status to warrant the privilege of rescue and survival.
The question of deserving , however, is highly problematic.
How do we determine who is deserving or not? By what criteria and standard? How does one measure 'reward' or 'punishment' outside of a given human framework of institutional law and regulation?
To recite this blessing reflects the basic reality of life and survival as being a gift freely given to us without our having 'deserved' it from the start. Sheer human existence-without the frills of wealth, power or fame, is the fundamental rationale for declaring our praise for life and being. In fact , no one is fully deserving! We are all imperfect and wanting in so many ways. To admit to our undeservedness is to magnify and deepen our sense of gratefulness and joy with life as it is.
Many are obsessed with the feeling of deserving more. For the most part , this preoccupation is not only unhelpful but often results in escalating our feeling of unhappiness and discontent, our ingratitude. By focusing on the gift of what is and what we have , our lives take on added fullness and satisfaction.
The Hebrew word for the free translation -"beyond our merits"- is chayaveem-literally guilty or obligated. The first definition brings with it a sense of self-negation that I personally am uncomfortable with. I prefer the latter definition-obligated- which suggests a profound challenge and expectation that we pursue a sense of gratefulness for all the myriad moments of survival in our lives.
Praise are You...for showing me goodness beyond my merit and bestowing favor upon me and my loved ones.
Shabbat Shalom.The Grateful Rabbi
"Praised are You...showing goodness to us beyond our merits for bestowing favor upon me."
In light of the accident I experienced several days ago, I intend to recite this blessing in my synagogue in Annapolis this Shabbat.
At first glance, we are impressed by the awareness of sheer survival in the midst of circumstances that are threatening and chaotic. We acknowledge the existence and intervention, in some incomprehensible way, of a Power or Force ie. God ,who ultimately is responsible for our well-being. This understanding may lead to theological challenges. It is not my intention to deal with them but rather to interpret the meaning of this blessing in a way that can be universally accepted and appreciated.
To me this blessing heightens my awareness of how grateful I can and should feel in the presence of the unpredictable and mysterious unfolding of life. The blessing humbly recognizes our undeserving status to warrant the privilege of rescue and survival.
The question of deserving , however, is highly problematic.
How do we determine who is deserving or not? By what criteria and standard? How does one measure 'reward' or 'punishment' outside of a given human framework of institutional law and regulation?
To recite this blessing reflects the basic reality of life and survival as being a gift freely given to us without our having 'deserved' it from the start. Sheer human existence-without the frills of wealth, power or fame, is the fundamental rationale for declaring our praise for life and being. In fact , no one is fully deserving! We are all imperfect and wanting in so many ways. To admit to our undeservedness is to magnify and deepen our sense of gratefulness and joy with life as it is.
Many are obsessed with the feeling of deserving more. For the most part , this preoccupation is not only unhelpful but often results in escalating our feeling of unhappiness and discontent, our ingratitude. By focusing on the gift of what is and what we have , our lives take on added fullness and satisfaction.
The Hebrew word for the free translation -"beyond our merits"- is chayaveem-literally guilty or obligated. The first definition brings with it a sense of self-negation that I personally am uncomfortable with. I prefer the latter definition-obligated- which suggests a profound challenge and expectation that we pursue a sense of gratefulness for all the myriad moments of survival in our lives.
Praise are You...for showing me goodness beyond my merit and bestowing favor upon me and my loved ones.
Shabbat Shalom.The Grateful Rabbi
Thursday, January 3, 2008
GRATEFULNESS- IS IT INNATE ?
SINCE MY RECENT CAR ACCIDENT-SEE POSTING 22-JAN.2, 2008- I HAVE RECEIVED MUCH CONCERN, SUPPORT AND ATTENTION FROM FRIENDS, FAMILY AND ACQUAINTANCES ALIKE .IN RELATING MY TALE OF WOE-WHICH THANKFULLY INCURRED NO FURTHER DAMAGE THAN SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS WORTH OF CAR REPAIR-I HAVE DERIVED SOME SUBTLE DELIGHT FROM THE RECOUNTING OF THE EVENT. AFTER ALL, I AM VERY MUCH IN THE LIMELIGHT AS I SHARE THE UNFORUNATE UNFOLDING OF THIS ‘SMASHING’ CONCLUSION TO THE OLD YEAR .PEOPLE WHO OTHERWISE WOULD RESPOND TO MY CONVERSATIONS WITH POLITE ATTENTION NOW APPEAR SINCERELY INTERESTED, ENGROSSED IN MY ACCOUNT.
TOGETHER WITH GENUINE CONCERN, I HAVE ALSO DETECTED A SENSE OF PLEASURE, EXPRESSED IN HUMOR AND LAUGHTER, MEANT I AM SURE, TO LIGHTEN MY BURDEN OF DISTRESS AND UNHAPPINESS. BEYOND THE HUMAN RESPONSE TO HELP ANOTHER LURKS, I BELIEVE, A DEEPLY EMBEDDED SENSE OF RELIEF AND SATISFACTION, A PRIMITIVE PRICK OF GRATEFULNESS, AT HAVING BEEN SPARED SUCH DIFFICULTY AND CHALLENGE.
WITNESS THE SCENE OF ANY ACCIDENT OR MISHAP. TYPICALLY IT ENGENDERS A BURST OF INTEREST AND CURIOSITY. SPECTATORS HOLD UP TRAFFIC AS THEY RUBBERNECK, CONVEYING AN ALMOST PERVERSE SENSE OF ENGAGEMENT IN THE DISASTERS OF OTHERS. DOES THIS PHENOMENON NOT EXPLAIN IN LARGE PART THE WIDE APPEAL OF TRAGIC AND PAINFUL REPORTING ON LOCAL EVENING TELEVISION NEWSCASTS?
WHY DO DECENT PEOPLE FIND THEMSELVES FASCINATED BY THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS? IN PART IT TOUCHES THAT WHICH ENABLES US TO FEEL EMPATHIC TOWARD OTHERS.
I AM CONVINCED, HOWEVER, THAT A DEEPLY INGRAINED SENSE OF GRATEFULNESS IS ALSO TAPPED INTO AT SUCH TIMES. WHEN HEARING OF OR WATCHING THE CALMITIES OF OTHERS, WE SAY TO OURSELVES: “THANK GOD IT WASN’T ME! I THANK MY LUCKY STARS IT WAS THEIR FAMILY AND NOT MINE!” IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT WE CERTAINLY WISH NO ILL ON OTHERS. YET, IF ANYONE IS TO BE SPARED THE WRATH OF GOD, FATE OR LUCK, WHY NOT MY LOVED ONES AND ME?
HOWEVER SELFISH THE RESPONSE, IT IS STILL COLORED BY THE SENSE OF BEING FORTUNATE, OF BEING BLESSED, LEADING TO A FEELING OF PRIMITIVE, EVEN ‘SELFISH’ GRATITUDE. PERHAPS THE HUMAN PSYCHE IS CONDITIONED TO REACT TO THE FACT OF SURVIVAL, OUR EARLIEST AND MOST PERVASIVE HUMAN INSTINCT, IN A WAY THAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS GRATEFULNESS, TO WHOMEVER OR WHATEVER THE FEELING MAY BE DIRECTED.
THIS IS THE BASIS UPON WHICH WE CAN ESTABLISH A MORE MATURE AND ALTRUISTIC ATTITUDE OF GRATEFULNES, ONE THAT EMBRACES OUR HONEST CONCERN FOR OTHERS AND FINDS EXPRESSION IN ACTS OF GENEROSITY AND GOODNESS.
WHEN RECOGNIZING OUR GOOD FORTUNE, WHY NOT ENLARGE OUR SENSE OF THANKFULNESS AND WELL-BEING INTO A RESPONSE OF CONCERN AND LOVE FOR OTHERS? I AM CONVINCED THAT SUCH A STIRRING OF OUR SOULS WILL BRING MUCH SPIRITUAL ENRICHMENT TO OURSELVES AS WELL.
TOGETHER WITH GENUINE CONCERN, I HAVE ALSO DETECTED A SENSE OF PLEASURE, EXPRESSED IN HUMOR AND LAUGHTER, MEANT I AM SURE, TO LIGHTEN MY BURDEN OF DISTRESS AND UNHAPPINESS. BEYOND THE HUMAN RESPONSE TO HELP ANOTHER LURKS, I BELIEVE, A DEEPLY EMBEDDED SENSE OF RELIEF AND SATISFACTION, A PRIMITIVE PRICK OF GRATEFULNESS, AT HAVING BEEN SPARED SUCH DIFFICULTY AND CHALLENGE.
WITNESS THE SCENE OF ANY ACCIDENT OR MISHAP. TYPICALLY IT ENGENDERS A BURST OF INTEREST AND CURIOSITY. SPECTATORS HOLD UP TRAFFIC AS THEY RUBBERNECK, CONVEYING AN ALMOST PERVERSE SENSE OF ENGAGEMENT IN THE DISASTERS OF OTHERS. DOES THIS PHENOMENON NOT EXPLAIN IN LARGE PART THE WIDE APPEAL OF TRAGIC AND PAINFUL REPORTING ON LOCAL EVENING TELEVISION NEWSCASTS?
WHY DO DECENT PEOPLE FIND THEMSELVES FASCINATED BY THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS? IN PART IT TOUCHES THAT WHICH ENABLES US TO FEEL EMPATHIC TOWARD OTHERS.
I AM CONVINCED, HOWEVER, THAT A DEEPLY INGRAINED SENSE OF GRATEFULNESS IS ALSO TAPPED INTO AT SUCH TIMES. WHEN HEARING OF OR WATCHING THE CALMITIES OF OTHERS, WE SAY TO OURSELVES: “THANK GOD IT WASN’T ME! I THANK MY LUCKY STARS IT WAS THEIR FAMILY AND NOT MINE!” IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT WE CERTAINLY WISH NO ILL ON OTHERS. YET, IF ANYONE IS TO BE SPARED THE WRATH OF GOD, FATE OR LUCK, WHY NOT MY LOVED ONES AND ME?
HOWEVER SELFISH THE RESPONSE, IT IS STILL COLORED BY THE SENSE OF BEING FORTUNATE, OF BEING BLESSED, LEADING TO A FEELING OF PRIMITIVE, EVEN ‘SELFISH’ GRATITUDE. PERHAPS THE HUMAN PSYCHE IS CONDITIONED TO REACT TO THE FACT OF SURVIVAL, OUR EARLIEST AND MOST PERVASIVE HUMAN INSTINCT, IN A WAY THAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS GRATEFULNESS, TO WHOMEVER OR WHATEVER THE FEELING MAY BE DIRECTED.
THIS IS THE BASIS UPON WHICH WE CAN ESTABLISH A MORE MATURE AND ALTRUISTIC ATTITUDE OF GRATEFULNES, ONE THAT EMBRACES OUR HONEST CONCERN FOR OTHERS AND FINDS EXPRESSION IN ACTS OF GENEROSITY AND GOODNESS.
WHEN RECOGNIZING OUR GOOD FORTUNE, WHY NOT ENLARGE OUR SENSE OF THANKFULNESS AND WELL-BEING INTO A RESPONSE OF CONCERN AND LOVE FOR OTHERS? I AM CONVINCED THAT SUCH A STIRRING OF OUR SOULS WILL BRING MUCH SPIRITUAL ENRICHMENT TO OURSELVES AS WELL.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
THE STRUGGLE FOR GRATEFULNESS
I was helpless. My mind went blank as efforts to stop the car failed and we slid directly into the side of a truck carrying a propane tank, stuck in the snow banks on either side of the country road. “Get out of the car” came the shout from the truck’s cabin. As he lowered himself from his elevated perch behind the wheel, the driver calmly added “Turn off the motor.” The truck was barely scratched. The front of my car looked like it had gone ten rounds in the ring with a championship boxer, its front hood a crunched mass of metal.
I was numb, my wife trembled and my daughter bravely held back tears of shock and fear. “ It was a propane tank,” she cried out in horror. I realized then that we were spared the grim, unimaginable possibility of being engulfed in an exploding furnace of flames…
It was New Year’s Eve. The bus scheduled to bring my daughter back to New York never arrived. We, together with about ten other shivering souls, stood in front of what used to be a Rexall drugstore in the town of Lee. After a three-quarters of an hour delay, someone left the huddled group to inquire , at a local café where bus tickets were sold, about some clarification. Passengers for Boston were in luck. There was no information for those heading for New York. I waited a few minutes longer then proceeded to investigate myself. While polite and friendly, the café owner was completely uninformed about the bus’s status.
After several failed attempts to reach the offices of the bus company, I was told that bus service from Lee had been cancelled for that day because of snowy conditions. A bus for New York had left earlier from a nearby location .Angry and bewildered, our group of stalwarts decided to wait a little longer. The owner of the café appeared on his way to a nearby bank. I rushed over to him, desperate for information. He finally had been notified that an additional bus was put into service and was expected to arrive shortly. We waited for almost another hour, at which point we all decided to head back that afternoon to the city in our family car.
It was a leisurely, and slow ride back to our log home. We were surrounded by a winter wonderland, a heavy blanket of snow bending branches in a response of submission to the leaden- grey skies. We approached the road on which we lived. Suddenly, a truck loomed in front of us. I thought it was entering our driveway to deliver gas to our home. A second later a new reality cross my mind. It was wedged on either side of the road by banks of snow, stuck in the middle of the road…
What followed was a frantic two hours of telephone calls to AAA, my insurance company, car rental establishments-all of which were either closed for the holiday or without any available cars-my son in the city whom we hoped would be well enough to bring us home( He had been under the weather the day before), and filling out an accident report for a police officer who had been called to the scene.
Finally all required arrangements were completed. We sat in our living room. A silent heaviness hung over the three of us.
“Thank God we were not hurt. It could have been so much worse,” I heard myself saying aloud attempting to not only reassure my wife and daughter, but especially myself. Fleetingly, I was grateful for having been spared the worse of possible scenarios. Yet, my mind could not resist entertaining a series of “whys” and “what ifs!” Why did this have to happen? Why did the propane company have to deliver gas precisely on this day? What if the bus had arrived on time and my wife and I would have returned home an hour earlier? What if I had tried to swerve the car into the embankment, applied the hand brakes, or done anything else to prevent this from happening?
To be honest, the battle between being grateful for my family’s well-being and being spared further hardship, and feelings of resentment couched in terms of what if or what should have been, continued almost unabatedly. Indeed, I felt I was locked in an internal struggle for the hoped for triumph of gratefulness. The struggle goes on; what’s left to be done is to reach out as best I can, in words, thoughts and feelings, to the comforting and strengthening reality of gratefulness in our lives. This continues to be my spiritual journey.
Gratefully,
The Grateful Rabbi
I was numb, my wife trembled and my daughter bravely held back tears of shock and fear. “ It was a propane tank,” she cried out in horror. I realized then that we were spared the grim, unimaginable possibility of being engulfed in an exploding furnace of flames…
It was New Year’s Eve. The bus scheduled to bring my daughter back to New York never arrived. We, together with about ten other shivering souls, stood in front of what used to be a Rexall drugstore in the town of Lee. After a three-quarters of an hour delay, someone left the huddled group to inquire , at a local café where bus tickets were sold, about some clarification. Passengers for Boston were in luck. There was no information for those heading for New York. I waited a few minutes longer then proceeded to investigate myself. While polite and friendly, the café owner was completely uninformed about the bus’s status.
After several failed attempts to reach the offices of the bus company, I was told that bus service from Lee had been cancelled for that day because of snowy conditions. A bus for New York had left earlier from a nearby location .Angry and bewildered, our group of stalwarts decided to wait a little longer. The owner of the café appeared on his way to a nearby bank. I rushed over to him, desperate for information. He finally had been notified that an additional bus was put into service and was expected to arrive shortly. We waited for almost another hour, at which point we all decided to head back that afternoon to the city in our family car.
It was a leisurely, and slow ride back to our log home. We were surrounded by a winter wonderland, a heavy blanket of snow bending branches in a response of submission to the leaden- grey skies. We approached the road on which we lived. Suddenly, a truck loomed in front of us. I thought it was entering our driveway to deliver gas to our home. A second later a new reality cross my mind. It was wedged on either side of the road by banks of snow, stuck in the middle of the road…
What followed was a frantic two hours of telephone calls to AAA, my insurance company, car rental establishments-all of which were either closed for the holiday or without any available cars-my son in the city whom we hoped would be well enough to bring us home( He had been under the weather the day before), and filling out an accident report for a police officer who had been called to the scene.
Finally all required arrangements were completed. We sat in our living room. A silent heaviness hung over the three of us.
“Thank God we were not hurt. It could have been so much worse,” I heard myself saying aloud attempting to not only reassure my wife and daughter, but especially myself. Fleetingly, I was grateful for having been spared the worse of possible scenarios. Yet, my mind could not resist entertaining a series of “whys” and “what ifs!” Why did this have to happen? Why did the propane company have to deliver gas precisely on this day? What if the bus had arrived on time and my wife and I would have returned home an hour earlier? What if I had tried to swerve the car into the embankment, applied the hand brakes, or done anything else to prevent this from happening?
To be honest, the battle between being grateful for my family’s well-being and being spared further hardship, and feelings of resentment couched in terms of what if or what should have been, continued almost unabatedly. Indeed, I felt I was locked in an internal struggle for the hoped for triumph of gratefulness. The struggle goes on; what’s left to be done is to reach out as best I can, in words, thoughts and feelings, to the comforting and strengthening reality of gratefulness in our lives. This continues to be my spiritual journey.
Gratefully,
The Grateful Rabbi
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
THE LANGUAGE OF PRAYER
I have always believed, and continue to believe that the essence of prayer is its intentionality. Its importance and efficacy are contained in its “kavanah”-the inner awareness of its meaning, its direction and purpose. Mechanical prayer, rote recitation of words was always a source of challenge and frustration in my own pursuit of prayer’s meaning. I understand the words' meaning; my elusive goal was the focus and concentration necessary for spiritually enriching prayer. This approach to prayer is a religious ideal that many strive for, but is not easily attainable.
Logically and intellectually, I have always appreciated and loved the Hebrew language as the vehicle for Jewish prayer. I have understood the unique importance of praying in Hebrew. Yet, because of my preoccupation with discovering the soul of prayer and its resonance in my own soul, external expression has become less and less important to me. Last night I had an experience that allowed me to profoundly feel the centrality of language in the experience of prayer.
We have the good fortune to own a log house in the Berkshires. Close by, directly across the road from the Tanglewood Music Festival, is a sprawling piece of property devoted to spiritual pursuits-Kripalu, a place of yoga and meditation.
We were informed that three days prior to the New Year, the center conducts an uninterrupted period of chanting as a way to end the year in a spiritually meaningful way. This experience is known as –“Septah”-seven, related to the tradition in India where seven full days are set aside for continuous chanting.
My wife, daughter and I decided to look in on the event. Having some meditative experience, we were not entirely uncomfortable with the surroundings and the practice.
Several women with lovely voices, chanted the mantra in alternating sequences. After each individual recitation, the audience joined in for the next one. The melody was enchanting, accompanied by the haunting and exotic strains of the harmonium. The chanted mantra was in Sanskrit-“Om Namah Shivayah” which means “I surrender to God!”
In spite of the evident strangeness of the environment and the tradition from which this practice originates, I felt that out of personal spiritual interest and from the perspective of the universal quality of the experience,there would be no contradiction or conflict with my personal attachments to Judaism.
We sat, the mantra was recited; its repetitiveness began to create a hypnotic spell. I chanted the words, trying to focus on their meaning. I became restless and dissatisfied. The words were too alien; I couldn’t connect with them in a natural and meaningful way. I began to unconsciously relate the Sanskrit words to similar sounding Hebrew words. OM became the Hebrew for people or nation. NAMAH I defined as pleasant or delightful. SHIVAYAH was more complicated and required more interpretive effort. Yah is God’s name, I thought. SHIVA emerged as seven, or a word related to the Hebrew for “return.” Desperately I tried to transform Sanskrit into Hebrew! It didn’t work.
My mind then led me to Hebrew prayer phrases that could conceivably fit the chant. I tried the Shema. No success. Other attempts also failed. It then occurred to me to return to a mantra which I didn’t chant but rather recited silently during my personal meditations.”MODEH ANI LEFANECHA”- I am grateful in Your Presence. In almost a whisper, I began to chant the Hebrew prayer of awakening each morning against the soaring sounds of Sanskrit that filled the Kirpalu sanctuary.
I realized then the powerful need to pray, to chant and to meditate in the idiom of one’s own deeply emotional connections and attachments. The destination of universal spiritual enlightenment can be arrived at only through the parochial, familiar, and deeply ingrained nuances of one’s immediate history and personal frame of reference.
To quote a further thought on chanting-“The repetition of the Name is found in all religious practice…the names of a friend or child or lover …point to the physical/emotional part of that person. Sacred names are revealed names.”(Krishna Das) For the Name to be of significance there must be a dimension of intimacy and nearness, like a friend, child or lover. Thus, the indispensability of chanting in a language that belongs to you, that is at the core of your personal , familial and communal being.
The next time I chant, it will be in Hebrew, the sacred tongue of the Bible and the Jewish people.
An afterthought. Perhaps another Hebrew phrase, the one recited seven times at the close of the Day of Atonement, does indeed fit the Om Nama Shivaya chant. "HASHEM HU HA' ELOHIM": The NAME( God) is the Lord. Try it at your next meditative chant. It may feel right!
Logically and intellectually, I have always appreciated and loved the Hebrew language as the vehicle for Jewish prayer. I have understood the unique importance of praying in Hebrew. Yet, because of my preoccupation with discovering the soul of prayer and its resonance in my own soul, external expression has become less and less important to me. Last night I had an experience that allowed me to profoundly feel the centrality of language in the experience of prayer.
We have the good fortune to own a log house in the Berkshires. Close by, directly across the road from the Tanglewood Music Festival, is a sprawling piece of property devoted to spiritual pursuits-Kripalu, a place of yoga and meditation.
We were informed that three days prior to the New Year, the center conducts an uninterrupted period of chanting as a way to end the year in a spiritually meaningful way. This experience is known as –“Septah”-seven, related to the tradition in India where seven full days are set aside for continuous chanting.
My wife, daughter and I decided to look in on the event. Having some meditative experience, we were not entirely uncomfortable with the surroundings and the practice.
Several women with lovely voices, chanted the mantra in alternating sequences. After each individual recitation, the audience joined in for the next one. The melody was enchanting, accompanied by the haunting and exotic strains of the harmonium. The chanted mantra was in Sanskrit-“Om Namah Shivayah” which means “I surrender to God!”
In spite of the evident strangeness of the environment and the tradition from which this practice originates, I felt that out of personal spiritual interest and from the perspective of the universal quality of the experience,there would be no contradiction or conflict with my personal attachments to Judaism.
We sat, the mantra was recited; its repetitiveness began to create a hypnotic spell. I chanted the words, trying to focus on their meaning. I became restless and dissatisfied. The words were too alien; I couldn’t connect with them in a natural and meaningful way. I began to unconsciously relate the Sanskrit words to similar sounding Hebrew words. OM became the Hebrew for people or nation. NAMAH I defined as pleasant or delightful. SHIVAYAH was more complicated and required more interpretive effort. Yah is God’s name, I thought. SHIVA emerged as seven, or a word related to the Hebrew for “return.” Desperately I tried to transform Sanskrit into Hebrew! It didn’t work.
My mind then led me to Hebrew prayer phrases that could conceivably fit the chant. I tried the Shema. No success. Other attempts also failed. It then occurred to me to return to a mantra which I didn’t chant but rather recited silently during my personal meditations.”MODEH ANI LEFANECHA”- I am grateful in Your Presence. In almost a whisper, I began to chant the Hebrew prayer of awakening each morning against the soaring sounds of Sanskrit that filled the Kirpalu sanctuary.
I realized then the powerful need to pray, to chant and to meditate in the idiom of one’s own deeply emotional connections and attachments. The destination of universal spiritual enlightenment can be arrived at only through the parochial, familiar, and deeply ingrained nuances of one’s immediate history and personal frame of reference.
To quote a further thought on chanting-“The repetition of the Name is found in all religious practice…the names of a friend or child or lover …point to the physical/emotional part of that person. Sacred names are revealed names.”(Krishna Das) For the Name to be of significance there must be a dimension of intimacy and nearness, like a friend, child or lover. Thus, the indispensability of chanting in a language that belongs to you, that is at the core of your personal , familial and communal being.
The next time I chant, it will be in Hebrew, the sacred tongue of the Bible and the Jewish people.
An afterthought. Perhaps another Hebrew phrase, the one recited seven times at the close of the Day of Atonement, does indeed fit the Om Nama Shivaya chant. "HASHEM HU HA' ELOHIM": The NAME( God) is the Lord. Try it at your next meditative chant. It may feel right!
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