GRATEFUL FOR "KVETCHING."

The title of this posting appears contradictory; if one is grateful, it is not necessary to kvetch-translation of Yiddish-complain. If one kvetches, obviously one is not feeling very grateful.
How do we reconcile the two?
I propose that the ability to kvetch- to complain, to vent our unhappiness and protest what we perceive is unfair in our lives is a healthy outlet which could lead to an awareness of gratitude for what is. Often kvetching is like a cleansing of our feelings and thoughts which block the flow of positive energy in the world and inhibit our ability to connect to that for which we can be grateful. There are times we have to get the negativity off our chests. To paraphrase the Bible-“There is no man on earth who does not kvetch or at least have the desire to do so.” It is so natural to complain, entirely human. Because of the ease by which we can complain the challenge of seeing the world gratefully becomes even greater and more daunting. In fact, one can argue that to transcend our proclivity for kvetching is in some way a spiritually heroic act; after all, whenever we resist or overcome natural obstacles or hurdles in our lives, we arrive at special moments of personal achievement that can be regarded as significant steps of human spiritual advancement.
Tisha B’Av, the fast day of mourning, sadness, protest and anger was experienced only yesterday. This day hearkens back to experiences of kvetching . According to the Rabbis, when the spies and Israel were gripped by fear and negativity and complained bitterly to God that the Land of Israel was beyond their grasp and they would all perish in the wilderness, it was the Ninth of Av.
Thus, kvetching can go too far, and create the static that interferes with the clear communication of life’s blessings and goodness.
Today we turn toward the Fifteenth of Av-Tu B’Av; just 6 days after commemorating destruction and tragedy we are bidden to let go of our kvetching, no matter how legitimate, and reach out to the experience of “dancing in the vineyards,” a metaphor for the sweetness and joy of life’s many gifts.
May we find the strength to make our way from the kvetching in the desolation of our tragic history to rediscover the “grapes of gratitude” in the vineyards of tomorrow’s promise
Shabbat Shalom-May this Shabbat "Nachamu" comfort us all.

GRATEFUL FOR STUDENTS

I have just completed one of my most enjoyable teaching experiences;in large part the satisfaction was derived from a fortunate mix of students who represented different walks of life and ideological perspectives but were open to pursue their social work studies with a unified aim of becoming effective and caring social workers.
The bulk of the class was comprised of Orthodox men and women, with the men being either rabbis or studying to become Orthodox rabbis.One student was Afro-American, another an atheist and a two others were secular Jews. They were all bright, intelligent, and "good people." They argued and debated enthusiastically, even heatedly but always respectfully.
What gave me the greatest sense of gratefulness was their genuine kindness and concern for one another and for their clients.
Another source of gratitude was my ability to be silly and sometimes humorous while enjoying an open responsiveness from the class. It is truly wonderful to be free when you teach and not constricted by institutional constraints or expectations of those who pay your salary. As I make my way into my "retirement " phase of life, I discover greater areas of freedom and openness in my writing and teaching. I can't adequately express what a gift that is, and how grateful I am for it.
The time whizzed by; each class was over "before it began;" I am saddened by its ending but fully aware that endings consist of feelings of gratitude for time well spent, for receiving again another gift of living "to teach and to learn."
Thank you, students of the Block program of the Wurzweiler School of Social Work.

SIMPLY GRATEFUL

I stepped into the lobby of my apartment house, the magnificent clear and summery blue sky behind me. My eyes blinked, adjusting to the sudden darkness of the indoors.
I spotted an elderly gentleman, leaning on a cane, frail looking but with eyes wide open, as if awaiting the adventure of a new day. We have become friendly through the almost daily contact in the small exercise room in the basement of the apartment building. He rides the exercise bicycle to keep himself fit.
“Good morning, Irving. Where are you off to today?” I asked.
With large eyes twinkling good-naturedly, he replied: “Where else? The doctor needs some money so I‘m paying him a visit.!” We chuckled and shared a few more cordialities, then said goodbye. His wife acknowledging my presence by adding-“Where do you think we’re going?” her voice slightly aggravated but resigned.
I continued to the elevator. How sad-what a way to spend one’s final days-going to doctors!
A moment later it occurred to me that Irving has so much for which to be grateful. He lives in a comfortable apartment house, together with a loving wife of 60 years; He is able to exercise each day, however limitedly; his mind is alert, and he continues to be sociable and friendly. His greatest gift perhaps is his ability to visit his doctor almost every week.
Is there not something in all our lives for which to be thankful? If not, then I fear a reality of utter despair.
I thank Irving for reminding again that the core of our lives pivots around the gifts that we have, if only we are blessed with the vision to see them.
I close with much gratitude for the sun that has been hiding but has finally decided to reappear and bless us with light and warmth.

GRATEFUL FOR PRAYING WITH CHILDREN

Today was my last prayer service with the children of the Hebrew day school where I have taught for the past five years.
I have grown quite attached to these kids; a mixture of innocence and uncanny understanding fascinates me and draws me to their company. Over the past years I have tried to teach not only the skills of prayer-more fluent reading, understanding the choreography of prayer, and the many hows of praying-but also the soul of prayer, to somehow create an environment in which each student will feel something special, something of gratefulness and blessing about their lives, in spite of their youth and inexperience. I am persistently dogged by the awareness that these experiences may or may not become an integral part of their lives. So, with the relief that comes at the end of a school year is the question of how much was accomplished, how much will endure and not dissolve into oblivion.
I am grateful for the opportunity to have had a congregation of children who at times were annoyingly silly and noisy, and at other times the source of remarkable insight and perception. I have admonished them for their misbehavior and have congratulated them on their successes in conducting and reciting the prayers with clarity and enthusiasm.
I have giggled with them at moments that were somewhat awkward, laughed aloud when something truly funny popped out of their mouths and experienced a primitive sadness when something went wrong in their lives or the life of the school community.
I am most grateful for the gift of being allowed to love them.
I will miss them but hope to visit and in this way rejuvenate my gratefulness for simply being with them.

GRATEFUL FOR THE WEATHER

My mind is on the weather; I haven't seen the sun for almost a week. The sky has been shrouded in an enclosure of gray, and besides the wetness in the air, I have been feeling the loss of spacious possibility. The sky has encroached on my imagination, shrinking its grasp and range.
Today, the sun played hide and seek, appearing for a moment and then retreating behind
threatening dark clouds, echoing an invitation to continue seeking and not give up hope of rediscovering its outstretched warmth and light. I was blessed with a momentary reminder of life's paradoxical contrasts. As the sun shone, and as streaks of blue strained through the ominous blackness,its brevity filled me with a penetrating pleasure reserved for moments of transient treasures. How precious the sun, how precious each moment of warmth and light.
So I am grateful for the weather. It is obvious that without weather we cannot exist.
The blue and the gray are the colors of human survival. Be grateful for both.
Moreover, imagine the world without weather-what would we talk about with strangers in elevators or grocery stores? How would the media fill its advertising slots? And these fellows selling umbrellas on the street, how would they feed their families?
Thank You for the weather, for the cold rain that refreshes and the warm sun that replenishes our souls with the miracle of light, and for endless vistas of blue that
hold out out visions of infinity.
Shabbat Shalom

GRATEFUL FOR A PIECE OF CHALK

I teach a summer class in a school of social work; invariably, I forget to bring chalk with me to the classroom and find my self hoping to discover the treasured item when I arrive. I am usually disappointed and then scurry about in a desperate search for the white stuff-or yellow stuff- I am not particular, darting from one classroom to the next on the hunt for the precious prize.
This morning I was chalk-less. I tried the next door classroom and lo and behold one tiny piece of yellow chalk –an inch long-was perched on the chalkboard ledge . Several students were seated awaiting the arrival of their professor.I snatched up the chalk and grateful for my good fortune was about to rush back to my classroom when a young lady called out, smiling: “What is our teacher going to use? Why don’t you break the chalk in half and leave a piece behind?”
I was caught short and realized that my feeling of gratitude was an incomplete experience. For gratefulness to fulfill its course it was necessary to be translated into an act of sharing.I broke off a piece, thanked the young woman for her suggestion and left the classroom.
Not only can we discover a reason for being grateful in everyday, little things, but we can perform simple acts of giving as we respond to the ordinary, little things of life, as well.
Opportunities abound as the blessings of grateful giving.

GRATEFUL FOR A CHILD'S SWEETNESS

The school year is winding down. Students are putting finishing touches on projects in progress, including the Gratefulness Journals that the children in my classes were filling with their expressions of gratitude. We collected all the individual sheets and put them into a decorative binder for the students to glance at while at home and share with their families. It was my hope that this exercise would heighten their sense of gratefulness beyond the school environment.
The range of things for which these kids expressed their gratitude was typically one that reflected the needs and desires of children. Perhaps the most popular item was the video game, with money and sports coming closely behind. Yet, family and friends emerged as immediate reasons for gratefulness too. Beyond the object of gratefulness, I tried to cultivate in these young hearts the very notion of gratefulness as a way of seeing the world. It was not the object but the emotional process of thankful awareness that was important.
As I returned the journals, one boy, barely 8 years old, walked over to me and as he handed his journal for me to enjoy said: "Rabbi, thank you for teaching me Torah."
I was overwhelmed by both his sweetness and his sincerity. What a gift! I could think of no greater reward for a teacher than these words of gratitude for teaching the subject I love most.